2012-10-01 11:22:41 by Voltage

I don't like giving out personal info on who I am or what I'm doing... but here's for people that care (or assholes that vex me).

I haven't been doing so well lately.

I've been struggling with some serious depression recently, and a lot of things I've been feeling lately have been feelings of confusion. Or something like it, I'm having a lot of trouble focusing.

I can't seem to clean my room, I can't get up, I'm suffering from the same chronic bullshit I've been facing for months now. I can't get out of it. I want to see a counselor or get help but... I don't at the same time. I don't know why.

I've been having serious issues and horrible things on my mind like taking myself out and just generally things I'm unable to put up with. The feeling to 'go' is really there... not to make this so urgent or anything.

It's one thing to feel totally rejected but it's another to feel like you just can't do anything right, like you don't belong and you're really unaccepted. All this time I've realized I've wanted to fit in, and had so many people following me. I ruined it by myself. I guess there's not much I can say about it, other than now all people seem to want to do is laugh at these insecurities and issues I've been having lately.

Keep casting it off as attention seeking, you asshole. If you've been in my shoes you know where I'm coming from. I don't know what to do, but sometimes I don't want to know and I just want to keep dwelling. I'm sick of it. I just don't want to see the sun anymore right now.


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